This went for couple of years. Why is no contact so necessary after a breakup with a bpd partner? She was extremely depressed and unhappy. I did push back and became cutting and critical to her. If you want to come back into contact with this girl, be prepared that she was probably a bit traumatized by your exit in her life and it will be difficult to get over. She still brought up the boy almost everyday for me to see while she finally got a job as a housekeeper. This is a common defense mechanism called projection.
I ask him why hes calling and he says its because he cares about me. And if she has not told him…she is being deceptive and misleading us both. The feeling of betrayal and loosing her was overwhelming. I just dont know who to trust. It taught me it's okay to just cut people off when you don't want to deal with them anymore. Instead of trying to win her over or anything, just do your own thing.
Now that really fucked with me; I didn't want to know he was happy or had moved on. I seriously have been so depressed because I helped her raise her 2 kids as well. A breakup is hard enough by itself, let alone with someone who knows exactly how to manipulate you in order to get what you want. That creates a sense of certainty, the more I know the 'rules' the better I can imitate success, earn love and feel safe. Boundaries would need to be set but if it could help heal the wounds we have caused each other I would be all for it. Yesterday, she tried to bully and manipulate me into having dinner with her. I fell I love really fast with her,n she said she loved me, I had no idea what was about to happen.
They have an innate fear of abandonment. I just know in my heart she is the one for me…and i feel maybe abandonment issues caused her to look alot deeper in arguments and our breakup and throw in an emotional towel. The last thing i did text her was that i understand she needs space and that i wish her well in this endeavor of self betterment. She had numberous relationships, but always came back to me. Basic bitches are insecure and crazy.
She knows I will be there in a couple months, and she may even come back for thanksgiving or Christmas or something. I thougth she was a strong independent, capable woman. In terms of exes, I wrote a long letter to the ex that haunted me with no return address asking for acknowledgement admitting my regret and sorrow and letting him go once and for all. My obsessions turned on her passed and this stated to pull down our relationship. A love where you feel like you cannot function without this person in your life. There are behavior patterns associated with the actual disorder that are so serious and complex that they call for the help of a trained mental health professional.
Of course this advice is always subjective. And I wish I would have understood her mental and emotional needs better when we first started dating. So they try to get closer again, and the cycle repeats. I caught her cheating on me, from the very start I told her there was only one thing she could do that would make me leave and it was cheating. The longer this goes, the stronger I feel each day and the better perspective I have.
Most mental health conditions really do have warning signs that can alert you to trouble down the road if you know how to recognize them. They may go on impulsive spending sprees in an order to feel good about themselves. The sociopathic man is the worst type of human in my opinion. On the 12th prior, she came into my home and found a reason why I had been deceiving her. My family treated her amazing, let her live here for free, included her in everything.
I asked if we can give it another try but hes adamant no. So I had to tell the cops about it. Lol women do this all the time. You will spend extensive energy trying to understand them. At the agree-upon time, she went into some kind of real panic and told me she thought I was coming there to rape her. Love can move mountains and soften the hardest hearts.