But some of us are short. The only reason Donald Trump cares about the popular vote and claims millions of illegals voted is because it has the word popular in it. Trump became president and started combating environmental disasters, annihilating sexual assault and battery, and zapped abortion in America. They have just lost their bull. What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay? After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? I heard Donald Trump wants to make government as small as his hands.
Do you know how motivating it is swimming to the theme song from Jaws? What do you call it, when a brainless creature takes over the world? Because he found his honey. Everybody needs to comb down. It came in at quarter past four. If all is not lost, where is it? I could talk about classic card games all day. My first boyfriend asked me to do missionary and I buggered off to Africa for six months. What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? They start out as milk, and it's up to women to mold them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Spirituality Jokes The Art of Meditation — You Have the Right to Remain Silent Q: Why did it take the Buddha forever to vacuum his sofa? You can use them everywhere.
He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. The most devastating force in the world is gossip. Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania? If I can, I will send you a telegram. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Body like a Greek statue — completely pale, no arms. The difference between one liners and typical jokes is that one liners are just that — one line.
A: Make me one with everything. Number three: what was I talking about again? Start a fight with somebody when they have the hiccoughs! After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. It was all so different before everything changed. Only used once, never opened. There once was an old man named Trump; on working folk, he wanted to take a dump.
What is sticky and brown? They both barely cover the asshole. The ceremony was rubbish — but the reception was brilliant. I hardly ever visit Syria. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs? Did you hear about the yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth? Bar Stories 7 A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.
When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. What do they ask for? Because he has such yuuuuge fans! Q: What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? I can hardly contain myself. How do you know the economy is only getting worse? Mother-in-law My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. If Donald Trump had a sense of humor, he would die laughing after looking in the mirror.
Would a fly without wings be called a walk? She used to like to dress up like herself, and act like a fucking bitch all the time. How is it possible to have a civil war? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common? Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans? Because she would have to move into a smaller house. What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump? Hot, because you can catch a cold. Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal. The key to making a good one liner work is to fit it into the conversation seamlessly. What is grey and can't fly? Nobody cares if you can't dance.
Why did Donald Trump ban shredded cheese as his first act as president? Bar Stories 5 A sandwich walks into a bar. My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look hot. She was wearing massive gloves. Often they can be a great way to diffuse awkwardness, reduce tension, or just elicit some laughs. He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed. Usually a statement or an observation, the joke often involves some sort of word play or irony. I realized that the other day inside my fort.