Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? Doctor: - The worse news is that I was tried telling this to you yesterday but your cell phone was unreachable. General anesthesia is so weird. A Graduate Nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. It may be a duck, pheasant, or quail. An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes. It is helping me alot.
Doctor, Doctor, my baby's swallowed a bullet. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. Q: What did the mom say to her blonde daughter before a date? Still, at least you have the option of not following these links if you'd rather not. An experienced nurse doesn´t want anyone to know they are a nurse. She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch.
I'm only here to wash your face and hands. Man: My doctor has advised me to give up golf. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? A: Only if you aim it well enough. A: A dressmaker sews what she gathers, a farmer gathers what he sows. We all would love to hear your best joke. Assembled on this page are hand-picked clean short jokes that you may find quite entertaining or usable for your particular function. Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue with his pizza? A Graduate Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.
Q: Did you hear about the midget that overdosed on Viagra? How did the hipster burn his mouth? Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? See more ideas about Nerd jokes, Funny nurse jokes and Funny medical quotes. That will be 300 dollars. They want twice as much as that at the garage. When he goes to place them in his mailbox, he finds a bill from the lawyer. According to hospital insurance codes, there are 9 different ways you can be injured by turtles.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. Here's a good medical pun! The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop! What did the grape say when he was pinched? Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? A Graduate Nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less. If I can, I will send you a telegram. After only a few minutes, Adam emerged from the room, walking completely upright. Coming out of a shop one day, she saw a crowd gathered round a man on the ground. Q: What do you call a Mexican midget? We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.
Then he gets back in the car to wait. We had a delicious meal and a wonderful time laughing and talking. Q: What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles? I struck a moose and it totaled my vehicle. Q: Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit? If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Have you tried turning it off and on again? You go to sleep in one room, then wake up four hours later in a totally different room. After a while she asks the driver: - Do not drive so fast, please, I'm simply working there. Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital! A: Give him a yo-yo.
He was looking for a tight seal! State has the smallest soft drinks? Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Q: How do you piss of a midget? A Graduate Nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water. I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone. Shall we go out for a quick jog? All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my right hand. I saw a wino eating grapes. Paul, another patient who had watched him hobble into the room all hunched over, stared in amazement. A friend told me I should go to the petting zoo perhaps, to cheer up.